There was another lie inside.  “Your inside and your outside can never agree.”  I felt fake and hypocritical.  No one could see the real me.  I wasn’t sure that I knew who the real me was either.  I just knew that I wasn’t being honest with myself or the people around me.  I was afraid of the person that I saw inside.  He was full of fears and contradictions.  I didn’t know how to be honest with myself or with anyone else.

The psalmist David writes in Psalm 15: “LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle?  Who may dwell in Your holy hill?  He who walks uprightly, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart …”  I wanted desperately to speak the truth in my heart.  Only Jesus could help me do that.  Only Jesus could get my inside and my outside to agree.  My dear wife also helped me to speak the truth to myself.  She would speak the truth to me about who I really was, andwould have me repeat it to her.  Eventually, I came to the place where I could tell myself the truth about myself and the truth about my God.  Find someone you can trust who will help you speak the truth.  You also need to hear yourself speak the truth.

Today, my inside and my outside match.  I know who I am.  I don’t have to pretend that I am someone else. I am comfortable with who I am. Jesus has shown me my life history and I can own it, accept it, even if it is painful.  Jesus can help you to get your inside and outside to agree.  He can help you find your life story.  It may be painful, but it is better to know the truth than to live in the dark.

It was not helpful, telling myself that I was someone else rather than who I really was.  It brought all kinds of stress and discomfort I didn’t need.  I thought that I had comfort and peace in pretending to be someone else, but deep down I knew it was a lie.  It was only momentary relief.  Accepting myself as the person that God made me brought lasting relief, comfort and peace.

Find that “hidden person of the heart”, who you really are.  It will take hard work.  There may be pain involved, but it is worth it.  Ask your Heavenly Father, your Abba Father, who stands with open arms to welcome you, to help you.  Ask Jesus Christ your Lord to enable you to be the beautiful person that He made you to be.  God does not design ugly.  God does not make mistakes.  He made a special and unique person when He fashioned you.  Start agreeing with Him and truly live life.