Discontent

“I will never be a man!  I’d rather die!”  This was a significant lie and a stronghold that the enemy helped me build … very strong.  It worked in tandem with the female idol.  There was deep woundedness, bitter anger, even overwhelming rage that was at the root, beneath the foundations of this mighty stronghold raised up against the knowledge of Christ.

To feel this way is not normal.  There is a reason for such deep-seated hatred of the male gender.  I remember when I went through puberty, that I loathed the changes that my body was going through.  That was not normal, but I did not know it.  Because of hidden reasons, I had a hatred of men and men’s bodies.  I needed to ask Jesus to help me understand my skewed thinking and feelings.

When God creates males and females, He creates something beautiful.  But at a point of woundedness, those of us who have skewed thinking, can’t seem to accept God’s good plan for marriage and procreation.  This includes homosexuals, bisexuals, transgenders, she-males, transvestites, queers, etc.  We all have bought into twisted thinking about our gender that is contrary to God’s perfect way.

True freedom only came when I could say, “Thank you, God, for Your decision to make me a man.  Thank You for my male genitalia.  Thank You for the beard on my face and the hair on my body.”  Until Jesus took the female idol down and the “I-will-never-be-a-man” stronghold, those were very difficult words to say, but then, with practice, they came with great ease.

Once God gave me freedom, I could truly love my wife and my children, other people, fellow Christians.  Until that point, I was living a very self-centered life.  Now my life is Christ-centered and I can choose to not be selfish, but rather self-less, taking up my cross daily and following Him.

Jesus said, in Matthew ten, “And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.  He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.”  In Matthew 16, Jesus said, “For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?  Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?”  Keep giving up the transgender lifestyle to gain Jesus… small sacrifice.  Read Psalm 16:11, “… In Your Presence is fulness of joy …”