Letting Others In

Yesterday, I had lunch with a man who attends the same church that I do.  We have been friends for a long time.  But, ahead of our meeting, I thought about letting him understand me in a deeper way.  When we met for lunch, I unfolded my life story to him, telling him about my struggle with transgenderism, and the reasons that Jesus had given me that explained my struggle.  I trusted him … that was the only reason that I could “open up” to him and let him know the real me.  I was not disappointed.  He believed me and understood what I was telling him.  We had a good time together.  He encouraged me with thoughts from Psalm 23.

It doesn’t always work that way.  Sometimes the person that you’re confiding in will not be sympathetic or empathetic … they will not understand you and maybe even say hurtful things.  That happens even inside the church.  It shouldn’t, but it does.  But you can’t walk alone, like I did … you need friends you can trust.

The psalmist David, in Psalm 16, said, “As for the saints who are on the earth, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.”  Ask Jesus to help you judge character, to discern people who have wisdom, who are loving and kind.  He will guide you to the right people.  I have about six/eight people who know my past and understand the challenges that I still face in walking through this “valley of the shadow of death”.  Psalm 23

When you share your story, you don’t need to give details … you don’t need to shame yourself.  Be careful how you describe things.  Also, it is probably best that you make a break with anyone you know who is trapped in the transgender lifestyle.  Unless you are very good at swimming, you can’t help someone else stay afloat, they will only drag you down, tell you things that aren’t helpful.

Am I happy with the close friends that I’ve acquired?  Yes, for the most part.  I still do most of my sharing with just two or three “really close” friends.  But, I enjoy doing things with my friends.  Very few of them really understand what I have been through, the pain that I have suffered, only Jesus can truly understand that and be my closest friend.  Even my wife has her limits, but she understands me better than anyone on this earth and she still loves me and accepts me.  Ecclesiastes says, “For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.”