Selecting a Counselor

Psalm 119:24 says, “Your testimonies also are my delight and my counselors.” So, the Holy Scriptures are our counselors. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” And godly men are to be our counselors. In Isaiah 9:6, Jesus is called “Counselor” with a capital “C”. Jesus is to be our Chief Counselor.

How does one go about selecting a counselor to deal with issues of transgenderism or effeminacy? Well, I spent some time with my pastoral counselor and here is a short list of the qualities we agreed are essential. Ask Jesus to guide and direct you to the right man (or woman if FTM TG).

1) Your counselor should be a “born-again” Christian, with a biblical worldview, who exhibits the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). The Bible should be his guide.

2) He should understand “Identity in Christ” as taught in the book of Ephesians. He should maintain that your God-given gender, the one you were born in, is the correct gender for you. “… just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love …” Ephesians 1:4

3) Your counselor should not just have head knowledge about the Scriptures, but an experiential life in Christ, one who practices “putting off the old man” and “putting on the Lord Jesus Christ”. He should be “taking up his cross daily and following Jesus.”

4) During my sessions, I regularly hear my counselor praying for me as I am crying and pouring out my heart to Jesus. Prayer should be an integral part of his ministry. I even have a prayer partner who is one of my best friends.

5) If your counselor has an understanding of transgenderism or effeminacy, that is a nice plus, but it is not essential. He can still counsel you as to what God’s word, the Bible, has to say on the topic. The key point is that he be able to teach you, disciple you, to follow Jesus Christ. The Christian life is much more than dealing with gender identity issues, while those are key.

6) “He makes counselors walk barefoot …” Job 12:17 (NASB) A good man is sensitive to the needs, feelings, emotions, heart, mind … he can empathize.