Trusting Men

Do you struggle in trusting men (or women)?

When I was a child, when I was a teenager, a college student, a married man … I was in a lot of denial … it was like I had a slide tray and I took out all the bad slides … so that my slide projector (some of you may not know what that is … do an Internet search) only showed good pictures.

For some strange reason, I hated men with a passion, and I hated my own male body, particularly my genitalia. Why? Well, it was when I was sitting in my counselor’s study that Jesus suddenly showed me. It took my breath away … I was stunned … it couldn’t possibly be … I suddenly blurted out loud to my counselor what had happened. It explained everything … why I was so intent on changing my apparent gender.

“Brute Beasts”

Some men are “evil beasts” (Titus) and “brute beasts” (Jude), but not all men are like that. It took me quite a while to differentiate between bad men and safe men. Even so, God says that we are not to fear men … “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD shall be safe.” Proverbs 29:25

Understanding one of the chief reasons for my gender dysphoria was helpful, but it didn’t solve my problem with my God-given gender right away. I was angry, real angry … even bitter. I had to work through a lot of issues with particular men in my life (see the page “Forgiveness”), and I had to be honest with God about how I felt about Him (I still had no right be angry with Him, read The Crook in the Lot, Thomas Boston, Soli Deo Gloria, 2001.) … why He allowed certain things to happen … a tremendous amount of lies to work through. It was only until Jesus took down the feminine image in my heart (see the page “The Female Idol”) that I was totally free inside.

But, still, one must make an attempt to speak the truth about men. Not all men are bad. Jesus says in Matthew 12:35, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure [of his heart] brings forth evil things.” There are men who are safe.

But there has to be balance even here (see the page “Balance”). God says, “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes.” Our ultimate trust needs to be in God, but we need to have a level of trust in good men, just realizing that we will be disappointed sometimes … saints are still human.