Two Jury Trials and a Dream

We can trust that God is sovereign, that He loves us, and He will lead us.

The Trials

After Jesus had revealed the two reasons why I was struggling with gender dysphoria … on two separate occasions … He had me selected for jury duty and assigned to a trial. When I heard the case announced in the first trial, I said to God, “God, I can’t be here … this is too much for me.” But I instantly heard His voice, “You need to be here … this is for your good … you will be selected.” And I was selected. I was even chosen to be the foreman. Yeah … I had to be honest with my fellow jurors … and, yes, I even cried … but everything was okay. I helped those men and women who were deliberating to discern what was the right verdict in both of those cases.

The Dream

When I was thirteen, when I started cross-dressing, I had a nightmare one night. I was inside a Victorian house, in the foyer. The leaded glass entry door was behind me … a staircase was on my right … ahead of me was a table with a large open book (the Bible) … and to my left was an opening into the sitting room (living room). I went through the doorway on my left … into the sitting room … and all of a sudden the furniture started walking and talking to me … I turned and fled from the house … out through the front door. I was under a large oak tree and, looking up, I saw hundreds of sinister eyes looking down at me … they were demons wanting to devour me. I awoke screaming. This dream reoccurred several times and God used it to help me work through some of the bad things that happened to me. As time progressed more of the house … its hidden rooms … became visible … and Jesus brought more healing.

God is Sovereign

All this is to say that God will bring along events, maybe even dreams, to help you work through your issues … He is a sovereign God … in control of all things.

To give one more example … I was with my wife and some friends at a coffee shop. We were having a meeting at a table outside. Our time together was drawing to a close, and I was looking down at my notes. All of a sudden, I heard three loud pops in rapid succession. I looked up, and I saw a man standing on the sidewalk, firing a handgun diagonally across the street at someone who was out of my line of sight. When he was finished he turned and walked toward us, still holding the pistol at his side. I felt terribly threatened. God used this incident to help me resolve having been threatened with a revolver when I was younger … it was connected to one of my reasons.