Wounded Spirit

Why was I struggling with transgenderism?  I was in shock … a wounded part of me was speaking … I heard the lie being repeated over and over again … constantly playing inside … “You are cheap, dirty and unacceptable.”  There had to be a reason why I would speak that lie to myself.

Why would I feel “cheap, dirty and unacceptable”?  Suddenly, I had a very good reason from Jesus.  He brought me to the point where I could verbalize it to my counselor.  One day, I just blurted it out … it shocked me, stunned me … but I knew it was the truth.  It hadn’t even been in my conscious mind … suddenly it was on the tip of my tongue.  I had repressed the truth about it for many years.

Now I knew why I clung to transgenderism, and why I accepted this lie.  Jesus told His disciples, “You are already clean because of the word that I have spoken to you.” John 15:3  Jesus died on the cross to wash me clean from my sins.  Through the prophet Isaiah, God the Lord spoke and said, “Come now, and let us reason together … though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”  Isaiah 1:18

So, the truth is that in Jesus I am costly, clean and acceptable.  That is a truth that I need to be telling myself.  That is what you need … the truth … Jesus’ truth for you … you need to start speaking it in your heart and in your mind.  There are three possible sources of thoughts inside you.  You can have your own thoughts.  But you probably think that is all you have … your own thoughts.  But that is not the whole truth … you also have the enemy, Satan, speaking lies to you … but, thankfully, you also have God’s Holy Spirit speaking truth to you.

Jesus said to His disciples that when He returned to heaven, He would send His Holy Spirit to be our Helper, our Comforter.  What could be more helpful and comforting than the truth that God speaks to our hearts?  Where does this truth come from?  It comes from God’s Word, the Bible, the Holy Scriptures.  That is why we should do everything we can to hear His Word, read His Word and even internalize His Word through meditation.  The Psalms are a good place to start.  

The Psalmist, King David, speaks the truth about God, regardless of his feelings and emotions.  No matter what his life circumstances, David chooses to speak the truth about himself and about God.  We would do well to emulate him.